Coming up this weekend is the 2 year marker of my divorce. It's also another much more important marker to one of the biggest blessings I've received; the 1 year anniversary to my one and only true love.
So last night as I reflecting upon this during my prayers, I felt the Lord place on my heart to write this blog. It was almost 12 am and of course I argued to get out of bed since I had to work this morning. I couldn't fall asleep until after 1 am, guess I should have listened to his prompting. I probably could have gotten 45 mins more of sleep if I had.
So let me go back to 2010.
After 14 years in a miserable, emotionally and mentally abusive marriage. I had reached my breaking point and was DONE. I had given him opportunity during the last few months I was in the same home to redeem himself and show change, he did, but instead of towards the positive it only worsened then with the threat of physical abuse. Needless to say since it was escalating I escaped and filed a FPO for my safety This started the long and painful divorce process.
The divorce process was probably more painful than most because during the process my integrity as a mother was slandered and my small business was built up to be something it wasn't to benefit him as if I had more valuables than he did. The lies that were told were unbelievable. I knew him to be a liar, but as badly and to the extreme as he was doing it just totally baffled me. I knew his motive for doing these things were to gain full or partial custody, but not because he was this loving father it was based on the fact that he didn't want to pay child support. I could go on for an eternity with all the wrongs he had done against me and basically, it seemed, he got away with all of these wrongs because he had spent more money on an attorney than I had. I pretty much was in the battle for myself. I was trying to stand in faith that vengeance was the Lords; on my behalf. I was expecting immediate vindication. In the end of the divorce I was striped of almost everything. Let's put it this way I walked away from that marriage with less belongings than I did when I entered the marriage. And to top it off, he got more than visitation he was granted joint custody. So while going through this process I compared myself to Job, but like I said before I was expecting immediate vindication so when that didn't happen I started to become bitter towards God. The icing on the cake were my "fellow brothers and sisters in Christ" turning their noses up and judging me for the divorce. I basically turned my back on God because I was mad and thought he had forsaken me.
I won't go into all the details of my seeking forgiveness from Him and myself for my actions but I will say this.
Even though I thought He had turned his back on me he hadn't. And even though I had lost all my worldy possessions he blessed me with more and better than I had before. The support of friends and family was priceless. In the midst of my trials I learned how to stand on my own two feet supporting my children and even had the blessing of taking them on a vacation to Myrtle Beach. Something as a single mom I wasn't sure I'd get the opportunity to do.
Now fast forward to 2012. I was reunited with my one and only true love from 20 years prior and for all those years we never had any contact, I wasn't even sure he lived in the same state anymore. Like me he had went through and ugly divorce. Both he and I had carried feelings for one another over the years that time did not diminish. So with that we have been a couple since and we are planning to get married this April.
So even though I was being put through the fire and I turned my back for a minute, God was still faithful, merciful and loved and blessed me.
He blessed me with support of family and friends and reunited me with my true love. And that is PRICELESS.
And as far as vindication I see that too. It didn't happen instant, but it's happening and still is.
